"Francis- can I talk to you for a second?"
Your heart rapped violently in your chest. Not even once did you think you were going to reveal something you kept a secret for ages. A secret you refused to accept till now.
"Oui, what is it ____?"
You froze at the sound of his voice. Hearing it sent shivers down your spine. You liked it, and you wanted more. Wait, why were you thinking about this? You didn't even say what you wanted to tell him yet. But
is it the right thing to do?
I have a confession to make."
You thought this was the best choice at the time, but now this wasn't looking like the greatest idea you had. You knew this can only go two ways: heaven or hell, success or disaster.
"Really? Please, do tell mon ami."
Dear God, what were you thinking? Damn, you sounded like a fool. Can you back out of this mess now? Probably not
and now he won't let you hear the end of it till it finally slips out. You suddenly felt like you were collapse of embarrassment. You mentally cursed yourself for being such an idiot; a complete, naïve, spontaneous idiot.
The cage of uncertainty started closing in on you, and your heart panicked. You can't do it; you couldn't risk your friendship.
Great, now you went from sounding unsure, to sounding more and more like a crazy airhead, and you surely didn't need that added to the list of your 'imperfections'. Besides, this man, Francis Bonnefoy was the biggest flirt and romantic man around. What would he want with a simple girl like yourself?
"Just tell me, ____. I won't judge you."
He gently placed his hands on your shoulders and whispered those words into your ear, making your face feel like it was ablaze. It wasn't like his usual flirtatious voice, which seemed quite odd due to his reputation. In a way it was alarming, but in a good way.
Damn, why was he the one you had to fall for? Not only a little bit either; you were head over heels. You looked at saw a genuine concerned look on his face, surprising you even more when a small smile graced upon his face. This wasn't normal behavior for him, no, you take that back. This wasn't his normal behavior around you.
Why was he looking at you like that? Doesn't he know that drives you crazy? Wait, of course not; you never told him. He probably knew he was torturing you because of your sudden pause. This didn't make you feel any better.
This was it. The moment that could blow up in your face as failure. Your heart pounded wildly in your chest, as your stomach did flip flops just think about it. Fantastic. You took a deep breath and thought that it was now or never.
I love you."
Your eyes distracted themselves with an interesting spot on the ground. You said it. It was finally out in the open, and no sooner did you say it, you regretted it. Your voice hinted of false confidence, and that wasn't good at all. Your heart only beat faster and insides tied in knots. You knew you face was darker than freshly picked cherries he would bring for the ladies during lunch- and here you go again, letting you mind wonder off.
When you dared to look up you felt even more embarrassed. His smile disappeared, and was replaced with a look of
confusion? His cheeks dusted over with pink. Was he blushing?! Well, at least he didn't run or seem upset with you. But God, you wished you could disappear now; Gone so people could look at your pitiful sight.
Why is he staying so quiet?
And why did he pull away from you?
I don't think of you more than a sister
Your heart shattered and sank.
You knew it. You knew this was going to happen.
I understand F-Francis... It's okay."
You wanted to scream. Cry that you didn't understand. That you didn't get it. That none of this made sense to you. That you wanted him to answer one thing then: why?
Your cage was shut and locked. There was no way you could escape. You were warned by others. But why didn't you listen?
Because you thought they were wrong. You thought love would prevail.
"__-_____... are you okay mon ami?"
Francis Bonnefoy, the man who knew you since you were children was asking you that? Really? You were on the verge of tears. Does it look like you're okay? After getting rejected too?
"Oui, I'll b-be alright. Don't worry about me, okay?"
To be or not to be, that is the question. You tripped on your words as you held in what had been there. You wanted him to worry, to feel guilty that he was the reason of your being, and the reason you would be inconsolable. Maybe now you'll take Arthur up on those late nights out, drinking to your heart's content, then you can both get drunk out of your mind to forget your pain and worries. Anything to be away from this.
Yes. You were perfectly fine.
"Look, I'm really sorry. I-"
Was he? You weren't even sure anymore. Both heart and mind were hollow, with the silent haunting of his words echoing throughout your body. You were lost in the woods of your own emotions.
So this is what rejection feels like. A slap in the face. For something that you kept quiet for so long, everything meant nothing in the end. He didn't love you back.
Just as friends. What's worse, you lost the one you loved, or that the fact that you lost your best friend because of love. You felt your exterior begin to crumble, but you stood frozen in the moment. You needed to run. Run far away from him.
its okay, really."
You wanted to escape this, but life provided not exit. You took another step away. Which way were you suppose to turn? Maybe you were like Hansel and Gretel, lost in the woods and trying to find the crumb path you once left behind for yourself to find your way home.
Maybe you'll find someone that will love you, but you'll never be able to return the feelings, for your heart is locked in Francis's hands. Your beating heart ripped again and threatened your eyes to break the water barriers, but you'll have time to do that when your home.
But he was home.
Why the hell were you still standing there? This isn't a fairytale; everything was just life's illusion. Run you fool. You stupid, stupid fool
His hand reaches towards yours, but this time you pulled away. Hiding your hand from sight, you trembled. Shaking your head roughly, you spin on your heel and run, leaving without another word; no goodbye. You needed to leave, and you would do so immediately. Of course, being oblivious and surrounded in your own feelings, you never noticed what was going on in the blonde's head.
I'm so sorry I lied."
He felt like he killed an innocent bird with one stone, as small as one stone can be. The Frenchman you loved so dearly sank to his knees as he watched you run away. He cried. Cried for you, as his own heart crumbled. How rash can an experience romancer be? How could he be so stupid?
ma belle _____."
That's all he can say, before you were far out of sight.
You were gone.